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  • Writer's pictureJulie Gross

I Love Jesus, but New Beginnings can be Scary

On May 5, 2023, both of my boys will be graduating. My younger son is graduating with a bachelor’s degree in Spanish and a bachelor’s degree in music, and my older son is graduating with his master’s degree in electrical engineering.

As of now, their plans are not set in stone. We know they will both be moving on to new and exciting things, but we don’t know exactly what. My older son has a job prospect that looks very promising, and my younger son has been accepted into three different graduate programs, two in the United States and one in Spain, but he hasn’t decided yet where he’s going to go.

So, there’s a lot of unanswered questions right now. The funny thing is, they don’t seem worried or concerned really at all, which is amazing! I, on the other hand, am having to pray a lot to keep the worry from creeping in.

This makes me think back to when I was getting ready to graduate from college. Did I worry about my future? Did I worry at all when I was twenty-two years old, or is worry something that has grown on me, like a fungus, the older I get? I remember the spring of my senior year in college applying for a job as a technical writer and going to the interview, but when I didn’t get that job, I don’t remember panicking. I do remember getting a letter in the mail advertising a master’s degree program in English at a university in South Dakota, and they mentioned teaching assistant positions that would offer a stipend and a reduced fee for the education. I remember that I really had never thought about getting a graduate degree, but I thought, “what the heck,” and I applied.

So, why am I worrying about where my kids will be going and what they will be doing? Maybe it is a mom thing; maybe it’s a getting-older thing. By the way, I did just turn 50 years old the other day, so I am feeling the getting-older thing. I mean, I don’t necessarily feel older, but 50 is an interesting number. Five decades seems like a lot of time and experience, and I would think that having that much time under my belt, I would worry less. I mean, think of all of the wisdom I should have now after having lived for roughly 18,200 days.

I’m actually in a Bible study right now, and we’re learning about how to overcome worry. The first memorization verse was Joshua 1:9: “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” There are so many good things in that verse! Just knowing that my God is with me wherever I go should help make me feel better, and it does, but I still let worry overcome me at times. So, in those times when I feel the anxiety crawling into my subconscious and worry starting to envelop me like a shadow, I will recite this verse aloud. My other go-to verse when I’m worrying is I Peter 5:7: “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” There’s something special about saying scripture aloud–it just seems more powerful!

I still don’t know where my boys will be after May, but I know that God knows, and that’s really all that matters! He loves them, and He wants what is best for them. Thank you, Lord!

Thanks for listening, friends!



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