So, I am not sure how to describe how I feel right now. “Out of sorts” is about as good as it gets for a description. When I look up what that means using Google, dictionary.cambridge.org says that “out of sorts” means “slightly sick or slightly unhappy.” I’m not sick, and I don’t think I am “unhappy.” Some of the synonyms listed are “angsty” and “in a funk.” Hmmmm. . . there we go–that’s it–I’ve been “in a funk.”
Why? Why am I in a funk? It’s the end of the school year, and summer is here, which is always something to look forward to. My 50th birthday was the end of April, my kids graduated at the beginning of May, and we just celebrated Mother’s Day. All of these things were great, and I was able to spend time with family and friends. Again, I ask myself: why am I in a funk?
Emotions are finicky things, and to tell you the truth, it seems like recently, my emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster ride. I think part of that is the season of life that I’m in, and I think part of that is still dealing with the grief of losing my mom almost three years ago. Maybe it’s hormones, and maybe it’s because there are a lot of new beginnings in sight for my children. Like I mentioned in a blog not too long ago, new beginnings can be scary.
My oldest son is so wise for his 24 years; he keeps reassuring me that God is in control and that I don’t need to worry. He’s right, and I know that. Maybe I just need to remind myself that God has always taken care of my family and of me.
There were times in the Old Testament when the Israelites set up stones as reminders of God’s faithfulness. In Joshua chapters 3 and 4, God performed a miracle and stopped the water in the Jordan River, so the Israelites could cross. As a reminder of the miracle and God’s faithfulness, God had the Israelites take stones from the river and set them up on the bank of the river where they camped. Joshua 4 verses 6 and 7 say this: “In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
I’ve never set up stone pillars as reminders, but maybe I should have some physical way of remembering all of the times God has come through for my family and me. He’s helped us in moves to different cities, He’s provided jobs, He’s guided us through illnesses and scary diagnoses, and He’s been there through the death of loved ones. God is good, and He is faithful!
Reminding myself of God’s goodness and faithfulness should pull me out of this funk. A couple verses to remind me of God’s faithfulness are from Lamentations 3:22-23: “The Lord’s acts of mercy indeed do not end, For His compassions do not fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” That is truly beautiful! His compassions are "new every morning." What a blessing!
Thanks for reading friends!
Love,
Julie
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